Too Little Too Late

[electrumicity.livejournal.com]

Title: Too Little Too Late
Fandom: Final Fantasy XIII
Pairing: Cid/Rygdea
Rating: PG-13
Notes: All does not go according to plan, but sacrifices have to be made in the name of the greater cause. Introspective-ish. Also I think I'll use the notes section for summaries as well. Also bawww.



He grows more distant than ever before from Rygdea towards those last days; the distance had already been increasing due to conscious and subconscious urges both, but he knows what is soon to come now. Cid doesn't doubt that his subordinate is quite aware of his pulling away from him, but he had yet to say anything about it, whether it be out of respect for privacy or whatever else. Things were quiet, just as Cid had hoped they would be.

Until the night before he leaves for the Fifth Ark.

"I like ya, Cid. A lot," Rygdea murmurs with alcohol on his breath as he pins the much taller man against a wall in his quarters. And it's that stupid accent that momentarily breaks down every wall Cid has put up in preparation for his departure. Those bright blue eyes that lead him to bed. He realizes that this is his last chance to partake in this, his final opportunity to do something that has been on some part of his mind for a long time. It's the most selfish thing that he can be doing. Rygdea doesn't deserve this. Not after all that they have been through. He shouldn't do this.

But he does.

Cid doesn't sleep that night, but listens to Rygdea's steady breathing hour by hour. It's still far before dawn that he disentangles himself from the other man and dresses himself. This is so much worse than a one night stand, and it bothers him that this departure—betrayal—whatever it will be seen as will now be on a personal nature as much as it will already be a professional one.

It has to be done, and he does not and will not regret doing it, but he cannot help but wish that everything he was and has been will be hurt badly in his friend's eyes.

Even as he finally takes a stand against the Focus and fal'Cie that have ruined his life, the very action will destroy what little he has left of it. Cocoon, however, is more important than their own lives and desires. It is greater than himself, Rygdea, and the entire Cavalry as a whole.

Forgive me, he almost wants to say. Whether Rygdea understands or not, he is doing this for his sake, for Cocoon's sake. Cid doesn't allow himself a last glance before leaving, even if there is a likely chance that he will not return.

He is spurning his Focus, but he still has an inescapable duty. His free will had thrust him into this duty to begin with, however, and his free will is going to end it.